many things has been going through my mind recently.
i feel fucking tired and disappointed and broken and hurt and lost and...
life isnt simple, i know.
But it seems too hard to handle this time.
maybe the only solution for this time is escape.
just let go of everything that i had been holding on so tightly to.

Maybe i m crazy or wat, its just dont feel right anymore.
we used to be so carefree.
we used to be so free.
we used to have club as our second home.

now, i go down club, who do i see?
year 1, the freshmen thats we brought in.
year 3, they aint gonna give a fuck abt our year anymore.
year 2, always i only see colin and soonbeng,

now, wan go spim de go spim, wan mia de just mia,
who give a fuck about club anymore?
MAYBE I DONT EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE DISAPPOINTED.
who am i?
a nobody?
fuck man, Jiahe, why are u so fucking useless, why cant u do any shit.
why are u so fucking simple, why do u talk at the wrong time, why are u so stupid, why do u let people make fun of u and swallow it down, why do u feel so disappoint?

why the fuck must the whole year 2 go spim tgt? fucking lame. even if 2 or 3 stayed in club i wont so fuckin disappointed. all i see in club is the year 3s who are laughin at us and year 1 with no aim.

i feel like escaping from this place, but i began to think, then what separates me from those who had already m-i-a. shit, i dont know what to do. i m fuckin lost again.


i dont even want to mention the girl problem at all, i cant see anything. mayb i m giving up again? shit. JIAHE WHY ARE SO FUCKIN WEAK.






I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You

So were You















FUCK U JIAHE WHY ARE SO FUCKIN WEAK?!